Thoughts Over A Cup Of Coffee

Avoiding Relationship Death

November 17, 2020 Stephen Willette
Thoughts Over A Cup Of Coffee
Avoiding Relationship Death
Show Notes Transcript

Has your relationship reached a plateau?  Do you feel like you're stuck in a rut?  Please listen and join in this two week challenge, as we set aside some time for deliberate and meaningful conversation with those most important to us.

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  • Hey everyone, Steve Willette here.  Thank you for taking the time to listen today.  
  • It seems like our late fall/early winter heat wave is over.  The past week has been in the high 60’s to low 70’s here in upstate New York, but it quickly disappeared and we are back to the 40’s and 30’s.  I believe the low for today is nineteen degrees.  Still a beautiful day, but more typical for this time of year for this part of the country.
  • As I have said in a previous episode, the things I talk about in this podcast are thoughts that come to me while I’m sitting and enjoying a hot cup of coffee.  
  • Sometimes that cup of coffee is enjoyed while I sit in silence and think about the day ahead.
  • Sometimes that cup of coffee is enjoyed while I read.
  • I also told you in a previous episode that I think a lot.  It seems that when I hit these middle years of my life, I spend a lot of time self-reflecting.
  • A lot of people, when they find out I have Multiple Sclerosis, are sympathetic.  I usually get the response of, “I’m sorry.  I would have never known!”  I always answer with the same reply, “Don’t be sorry.  My MS diagnosis is one of the best things that have ever happened to me.”  
  • While there are days that are difficult, and many outside my immediate family don’t see those days, there are days that I am incredibly thankful for where I am at in life.  
  • My situation has caused me to slow down significantly in life.  
  • It has caused me to reflect on life and those things which I am most appreciative of.  
  • It has given me the opportunity to spend more time doing the things that I believe have long-lasting significance.
  • I guess if my mid-life crisis consists of sitting down a couple times a week and making a podcast that I have no idea who will listen, if anyone, then I guess I will take that over many of the other things I could be doing.
  • Today’s cup of coffee is brought to you by Cumberland Farms.  As I prepare this podcast, I’m enjoying a cup and thinking about life.
  • Like most people, I’ve made a lot of mistakes throughout my life.  While I can reflect and think of things I have done over the years, many of which I’m not proud of, I try and finish each day proud.
  • My goal each day is to finish the day a better version of myself than I was the day before.  
  • I think life is a work in progress and we should always strive to be a better person.  We shouldn’t be happy or content living life in a rut or reaching a plateau.  We should always want to be better.
  • How many relationships crumble because either one or both participants become too comfortable with the way things are?
  • How many spouses or significant others, when things have gotten to the point of no return, admit they feel like they’re living with a roommate or close friend, rather than their husband, wife, or the person they were once madly in love with?  
  • Regardless of the type of relationship; be it marriage, friendships, or a long-term relationship, how often do we fall into the trap of being comfortable?
  • How often to we plateau and begin to not only neglect our own emotional and mental well-being, but also the well-being of others?
  • That’s what I want to talk about today.  It’s something I have found I am guilty of.  It’s an area that I know I need to improve, and I am sure that someone who listens to this, can relate it to their own life.
  • One area where I struggle, and hear about from so many others, is the area of both reserving and preserving a time set aside for meaningful conversation.  
  • If we were to close our eyes and think about it, when was the last time we sat down and had a meaningful conversation with the person who is supposed to be our best friend?
  • I’m not talking about the conversations we have with our family while we are in the car on the way to the store.  
  • I’m not talking about the sporatic dialogue that we have with our spouse, significant other, or children during commerical breaks.
  • I’m not talking about the short exchange of conversation we have before we head out the door and leave for work, or the conversations before the lights go out and we go to sleep.
  • When was the last time I engaged in meaningful conversation with my family?  What about with friends?
  • My goal for this week is to shut off the television, put the phone down, tune out the world around me and pause everything that’s happening outside the four walls of my home, and engage in some really meaningful dialogue with those within the four walls of my home.  
  • My goal is to make this a more frequent habit.  To ask questions, but more importantly, to listen to the responses.  To not just hear them, but listen to them.  
  • Are you sitting there, wherever you might be this very moment, and struggling with this area as well? 
  • Have you become so consumed with everything happening in the world, those things that you ultimately have no control over, and it seems you’ve lost focus on those things you can control?
  • Have you fallen into a rut that you just can’t seem to get out of?
  • Let’s do this challenge together over the next week, and check back next weekend to see where we are at?  
  • Thank you again for listening and for allowing me to be a part of your day.  I appreciate your feedback, encouragement, and thoughts as we navigate life together. 
  • Hey, if you enjoyed this episode or any other episode, shoot me a message.  You can go to my website, and hit the “Contact” button, or send me a message on Facebook.  Either way, I’d love to hear from you!
  • Until next time, please take care of yourself and each other, pray for our local and national leaders, and may God continue to bless America.